Sounds quite interesting.
Hmm… one idea regarding kink ?compatibility? is to do some sort of Private Intersection Set testing betwixt folks.
A scenario:
Lets say we have Alice and Bob (of cryptography papers examples fame) that want to know if they are into the same kinks.
Each has a list of likes and a list of dislikes. (For simplicity sake we leave magnitude out for now.) Both draw from an agreed vocabulary of kink tags.
This means that Alice wants to know if Bobs likes is (at least) a superset of her likes and contains none of her dislikes.
Same for Bob in the other direction.
I have on this very Discourse site a post that has an BLIFF write up of an PIS circuit to be run ontop of an SMPC. But I do want to hear more about the sort of usage scenarios and problems you have in mind.